I shifted in my seat, scared shitless and nervous as hell. Why haven’t they called my name yet? I went over the script for the hundredth time to distract myself. Maybe if I look unbothered, I’ll be okay. Another actor waltzed into the waiting room, immediately spotted the casting director, and lunged for her like they were long-lost BFFs. I could feel my personality shrinking inside me like a deflating balloon.

A pang of rejection came by to visit when I didn’t get the job. I was familiar with it as it’s the nature of the industry but it still…

In the past year, I’ve scored highly in two pitch rounds in an entrepreneurship program and I don’t deserve it. Okay, my pitches are clear, concise, and direct. They address the most important criteria in an elevator pitch: the problem, the goal, and the audience. I also delivered them confidently, despite my stuttering speech impediment.

On paper, winning these pitch rounds could make sense but it’s not with faux-humility that I say I shouldn’t have won.

So, what’s the problem then?

They were safe.

Playing it safe as an entrepreneur is like mixing oil with water. It doesn’t work. Safe…

Darling, what are you thinking about?

Huh? That was my immediate reaction. I didn’t pay much attention to it. In fact, I swatted that question away like a pesky fly. It had nothing to do with anything, especially the task at hand. I had to focus on what I’d come to do.

A few moments later, again, Darling, what are you thinking about? Now, I was confused. Was this His response to my prayers? If so, it was strange. Was God asking me a trick question? But the more I kept talking to him about my stuff, the more He…

Congratulations! You’re an actor. Artiste. Your days are populated with back-to-back auditions and self-tapes to film. Then you attend casting director and agent workshops at night. You squeeze in rehearsals and writing sessions with your fellow actor friends because everyone says you have to write and produce your own material in this day and age (that’s how Issa Rae and Phoebe Waller-Bridge broke in so we have to do it too, right?).

The industry has redefined what it is to be a triple-threat. Gone are the days of the actor-singer-dancer. Now you (supposedly) have to be an actor-writer-producer.

On top…

In the 33 years that Jesus lived, he said things that were shocking to the people at that time. Fast forward to the 21st century and I personally still find his words eye-opening.

He was controversial. I like people who challenge the status quo and shake me out of my comfort zone. It’s uncomfortable, but I think of it as “heart medicine.” It’s good for me.

He was confrontational. Confrontation can lead to personal conviction and that’s good for my personal growth, my relationships, and basically, every area of my life if I apply the lesson.

But it’s also hard…

You’re moving through a busy aisle at a very crowded Trader Joe’s, and suddenly you’re blocked by someone in front of you. They’re just standing there, holding a product and reading without a care in the world like they’re at a library.

The audacity.

There’s always that pesky person who moves slowly through the narrow aisles, unbothered by the shopping carts and your growing annoyance at how they’re holding up the queue behind them.

I apologize to you, dear reader, because I am that person.

Going grocery shopping for me is like an exercise in reading, quick mental math, and…

When I was 10 years old, I was walking home with my nanny and needed to make a quick phone call. There wasn’t a payphone in sight (this was the pre-mobile phone era, dear reader). So we went to a shop nearby and asked to use their phone.

“Sure, that’ll be 25 cents.”

To my extremely naive 10-year-old mind, up to then, I hadn’t assumed everything was always for sale. I learned a valuable lesson then: you should always expect to give something in exchange for something else.

Maybe I was entitled. Maybe I was just naive. Maybe, both or…

Being hungry all the time is annoying. Willpower is not enough to stop overeating. Weird mind hacks, portion control, and other tricks we’ve been told to try don’t work either.

I’m not someone that gets full easily. An hour after breakfast I’m back trodding into the kitchen for a snack. Boy, I was a big snacker. I snacked from the minute I woke up till I went to bed.

“I’m so bloody hungry!!!!”

I’ve always been skinny. I was the too-tall, skinny, lanky girl who stood in the back row for class photos (while all the other girls sat in the front row). Growing…